


Letters of Love

by reylocalligraphy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - To All the Boys I've Loved Before Fusion, Boba, Bullying, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before, No Love Triangle, No bathtub scene, Phasma is Gen but eventually she and Rose are friends, Rose and Hux friendship, To All The Boys I've Loved Before AU, bubble tea, finnrose - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-09-26 06:37:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20385283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylocalligraphy/pseuds/reylocalligraphy
Summary: Rose Tico writes letters to all of her past loves, meant for her eyes only. That's fine... until one day, when all three love letters are sent out to her previous loves. Her normal, boring high school life is thrown into chaos when her past loves confront her, one by one - including getting into a fake relationship with star quarterback Finn Storm.A FinnRose x To All the Boys I've Loved Before AU.





	1. Chapter 1

“Rose, did you take my makeup mirror?”

“No, I think Rey has it?” 

Rose leans over the staircase railing, curiously observing her older sister’s frantic movement across the house. One might think that the mood of the house should be somber and silent, mourning Paige’s departure for college. 

Then again, there’s Ticos Axiom #1: _ The Ticos are never quiet. _ This evening is no exception.

“Rey!” Paige's panicking voice rings out across the hallway. “Have you seen my makeup mirror stand? I need to bring it to college—” 

“Uh—um…” Rose knows her adopted younger sister well enough to know that the beat of hesitance means a _ yes _. “It… may or may not be… on my desk?”

Paige lets out a stream of curses, stomping across the floor to retrieve her mirror. “I don't have time to be mad at you right now, but don't think I'm not letting this go—” 

“Girls, dinner time!” Their father cuts through their inevitable argument. “And Poe is here too!” 

Rose flies down to the dining table. Rey follows her soon after, her slippers pattering against the hollow wood of the staircase. 

Ticos Axiom #2: _ Wherever food lays, you'll also find Rose and Rey. _

“Poe!” Rey squeals. 

“Rey-rey,” he says affectionately, ruffling the young girl’s hair. “Ever the troublemaker. I hear you stole your sister’s mirror?”

An indignant look sweeps across her face. “I did not steal it—” 

“Yes, yes she did,” Paige interrupts as she walks down the staircase, eyebrows creased with frustration and relief, “but fortunately I found it.” 

“It’s not a bad thing, I personally like troublemakers,” Poe says with a smirk. He winks at Rey, who giggles at his remark. “After all, it seems to run in this family.” He strides towards Paige, brushing her cheek with a light kiss. 

A dusty pink blossoms across Paige’s face. She can’t help the corners of her lip curving up at her boyfriend’s intimate gesture, but then her smile falls. “Let’s… eat, shall we? Dad cooked this amazing meal—this, uh—” She glances at the dinner table, leaning over to whisper, “Daddy, uh, what is this?”

“It’s prawn bánh xèo [Vietnamese crepe], just like how Mommy used to make it,” he says. “I thought your last dinner before moving across the country should be… a Tico special.”

“Oh Daddy…” Paige’s eyes glisten with a sheen of tears. She blinks them away when she turns her head towards Rose and Rey, hissing, “You two are _ not _ allowed to whine about his food tonight, no matter how it tastes. Dad put a lot of effort into it.”

The two younger siblings nod and dig into their food.

The crepe shell tastes like a flavorless mix of flour and water.

“This is—ah—good,” Rose says, trying to hide her look of disgust and horror. Paige is glaring at her, which means Rose isn’t hiding it very well. She gulps down a glass of water, before glancing at her father with a gentle smile. “Mhmm. It’s very good, Daddy.” 

“Thank you, I’m so relieved to hear that!” their father exclaims. “Paige, are you done packing?”

“Almost.” Paige carefully wraps her food in a large piece of lettuce and bites into it. Her eyes bug out, and she forces herself to swallow. “There were… a few items I couldn’t find because _ some _ people borrowed them without letting me know, but now that I’ve found them, I’m almost done packing.”

“Great.” A smile blossoms on their father’s face, the corners of his eyes creasing in small, joyful wrinkles. “Perhaps Poe could help you pack the rest later.”

“Speaking of which,” Poe begins, “I have a surprise.”

“You… do?” Paige asks, bewildered. “For who?”

“For you, of course.” He pulls out a small, folded paper from his pocket, straightening it carefully. “I know you’re not coming home for Thanksgiving, since you’re coming home for Christmas. So I decided I’ll be coming to you.” Poe flashes the plane ticket so the whole table can see. “San Jose to Boston, baby. I’ll be there sooner than you know it.” 

“You—” Paige is usually eloquent, something Rose greatly admires her older sister about, but in this moment she is stunned speechless. “You bought a plane ticket? As in, you already _ paid _ for it?” 

“Yes!” he exclaims. “Then, hopefully, in one year I’ll also be in Boston, or at least nearby.” His wide grin slowly fades. “Why… why aren’t you happy?”

“No—well, yes—can we talk outside after dinner?” Paige glances down at her plate, avoiding his crestfallen gaze. “Alone?”

In a rare violation of the Ticos Axiom #1, the next few minutes of their dinner are eaten in silence, with the occasional sound of Paige kicking Rose and Rey to remind them not to spit their food out. 

“So, uh… you ready to start high school, Rey?” Their father breaks the silence, trying to ease the tension stiffening the table. 

“I guess,” Rey says, aimlessly pushing her food around with her fork. “I’m excited to see my friends again.” 

“Especially Ben Solo, right?” Rose smirks. 

“Stop it.” If looks could kill, Rose would be limp toast right now. “I told you, he’s just a friend!”

“Sure, Rey.” Rose rolls her eyes with a teasing grin. “I think it’s super cute you have a crush—”

“I do NOT have a crush on him! We are. Just. _ Friends _.”

“I saw you two holding hands—”

Paige bolts upright in her chair. “You held hands with this guy?” She peers at Rey with widened eyes. “And you didn’t tell me?”

Rey’s hazel eyes ignite in a murderous blaze of fury as they turn to Rose. “I am going to kill you—”

Amidst the raised voices and chasing around the house, their father sighs. “Ah, the joy of having three daughters,” he mutters to himself.

~ * ~

“They look serious,” Rose observes, looking out her bedroom window. Poe and Paige are standing in the driveway, arms crossed and leaning against the garage door. “Is he… crying?”

“I think so,” Rey says gravely. “Do you think they’re breaking up?”

“Probably.” Paige’s face is turned away from Poe, lit by silver beams of moonlight. There’s a foot of distance between them, enough distance to signify that she won’t be changing her mind anytime soon. 

“Poe and Paige have been together for years. I can’t imagine them _ not _ as a couple.” 

Rose flops back onto her bed, turning on her stomach as she reaches for the teal hatbox below her bed frame. “Things change.” 

“That’s unfortunate.” Rey frowns. With one last glance out the window, she turns and leaves, carefully treading around the clothes and stationery scattered across Rose’s bedroom floor. 

Rose lifts the hatbox’s cover, adorned with a matching teal bow, where she sees an envelope sitting on the top. 

The hatbox is Rose’s most treasured possession. It’s a box that her mother bought at a vintage store downtown—and the last thing her mother ever gifted her. So Rose cherishes it with her whole heart, using it to only save her most prized secrets: letters. 

Specifically, love letters.

They aren’t love letters that someone else wrote for her; Rose obviously doesn’t have any of those. They are love letters Rose has written. 

One for every boy she’s ever loved—three in total. 

There’s Finn Storm. Canto Bight High School’s star quarterback, one of the most popular and well-liked kids in her grade. Incidentally, he was also Rose’s first kiss—a quick peck of the lips during a 7th grade Spin the Bottle game she was stupid enough to take part in.

Then, there’s Armitage Hux. A brilliant student with less brilliant social skills, Rose has taken math with him for the last few years. Upon meeting him, she took a fancy to his shiny red hair, though that intrigue faded over time.

Finally, Poe Dameron. The Ticos’ neighbor, and Paige’s boyfriend. Well, perhaps ex-boyfriend now. He was Rose’s first ever crush, as she seemingly followed a Hollywood romcom storyline when she fell for the cool, bad-ass next door neighbor. The day Paige announced that they were dating, Rose cried. She poured all her feelings out into the letter; and she’s never had any romantic feelings for him since.

Of course Rose will never send these letters out. These letters are only meant to document her feelings, so she knows how she once felt. Then, she shoves those feelings deep in her heart. The contents are not meant to ever be revealed.

With Poe and Paige now broken up, Rose decides that it’s time to seal the love letter she wrote for Poe years ago. She stuffs a folded letter—a piece of paper that has been long untouched—into the empty envelope, gently sealing it with pale pink washi tape, and closes the box. To forever close the naive love she once had and will never have. 

“Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?” Paige emerges by her door. Her eyes are red and splotchy, the dried stains of tears evident.

Rose quickly shoves her hatbox back under the bed. “Of course, are you okay?”

“Yes—no.” Rose watches her sister’s face crumble, her usual strength leaving her body in a whoosh. 

“Come here,” Rose says, arms reaching out. Paige falls into her embrace, curling into a ball and laying her head on Rose’s lap. 

“I… I broke up with Poe.”

Though Rose is expecting the news, her eyes still widen in surprise and sorrow. “Did you... plan to do it?”

“Sort... of? I knew I needed to break up with him. But I kept… stalling, because I didn’t have the heart to do it.” Tears threaten to prick the corners of Paige’s eyes again. “I didn’t want to be one of those students who enter college being dragged down by a long-distance relationship and miss out on meeting new people. A relationship that probably wouldn’t last for long anyway.” She tries to blink the tears and heartbreak away. “But it still hurts. I’ll miss him.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through this,” Rose says solemnly. “I think that’s really wise of you. But you’ve been together for three years, so it won’t be easy at first.” 

Then, Rose wraps her arms around Paige even tighter. “I’ll miss you too. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you here.”

The misty fog of heartbreak in Paige’s eyes suddenly clears. She straightens up. “Rose, you’re going to be the oldest sister in the house. I want you to take good care of Daddy and Rey, and I want you to take charge of your junior year. You can go branch out, meet new friends—”

“No, no,” Rose vigorously shakes her head, horrified. “I’m too awkward to make new friends, I’d rather eat lunch alone—”

“That’s not true! I know you, and you’re a great person. Other people will see that too, if you make the effort to meet people. It won’t be easy, but you can do it.” Paige’s lips curl into a gentle smile at her younger sister. “I have a good feeling about this. I think this year will be different for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is very open so far -- so let me know what you think. I'd love to hear your thoughts, theories, any comments!
> 
> Come say hi to me on Tumblr ([@reylocalligraphy](https://reylocalligraphy.tumblr.com)) and Twitter ([@reylocallig](https://twitter.com/reylocallig)). Thank you so much for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose drives Rey to school; together, they face the first day of high school, and confront familiar faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: mentions of abandonment, adoption, bullying.
> 
> Thank you to [Erulisse17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17) for making this beautiful moodboard below! It's amazing!!! <3

Paige leaves early the next morning. By the time her plane takes off, the shimmering rays of sunlight are just barely peeking past the waves of hills rolling in the distance. Rose cannot shake off the tingling sadness lingering beneath her mind.

“Hey, cheer up,” their father comforts her, clapping his hand on her shoulder. “You’ll be leaving for college before you know it too, then Rey, and then it’ll just be me rotting away in this house, alone.”

Dad’s joke cracks a smile upon Rose’s lips—a faint one, but a smile nonetheless. “No rotting allowed, Daddy. Mom would be rolling in her grave if you let this house get dirty.”

“True, true.” He turns his attention to Rey and asks, “You ready for your first day of high school?”

“More ready than Rose, probably.”

“Hey, don’t tease your sister like that.”

“No, it’s probably true,” Rose replies with a grin. “She has a…  _ vibrant _ … social life that I could not possibly measure up to—” She swallows down a yelp as Rey jabs her elbow in the stomach. 

“I saw that,” their father comments in an admonishing tone, though his eyes are twinkling with amusement. Then, he stretches his arm out, a car key dangling from his fingertip. “Rose, here you go. Don’t lose it.”

Rose takes a deep, nervous breath. “Thanks, I won’t.” 

“Wait, Rose is driving us to school?” Rey cries out. Then, she drops her voice to a whisper. “Daddy, I thought you were driving? Have you seen Rose’s driving?”

“I’m standing right here, you know.”

“Sweetheart, I can’t drive you to school anymore because the high school’s not on the way to work like your middle school was for me,” their father calmly explains. “Rose needs practice. This will be good practice for her—”

“Not if I die—”

“You won’t die. Besides, she passed her driving test for a reason—”

“... on her  _ fourth _ try!” 

“Unless you want to take the bus, which you already missed, you’re coming with me,” Rose says in a low voice. Rey sighs, knowing that this is a losing battle. “Come on.”

“Fine.” Rey turns around and dashes upstairs, before coming down with an orange and white Star Wars Resistance pilot helmet tucked under her elbow. “But I’m wearing a helmet.”

~ * ~

“I can’t believe you  _ actually wore your helmet _ the whole ride,” Rose says in disbelief. “I thought I was fine!”

“You hit a trash can. And two curbs. Before we even left our street.”

“... Fine. But when you get your driver’s license, you’re going to drive me around so I can sit beside you and whine the entire ride, while I wear a ridiculous helmet.” 

They stop in front of the steps leading into the school’s entrance, where a red banner stretches across the gate: “Welcome to Canto Bight High School!”

“It’s so much bigger than middle school,” Rey marvels. As the two sisters walk down the hallway, Rey cannot stop staring at the constant flow of people, the tall lockers, and the colorful posters plastered across walls and bulletin boards. “Oh my gosh there is so much stuff—everywhere—and so many people—”

“Look who it is.” A snide voice interrupts her, accompanied with a clicking of boots. “The Tico  _ freak. _ ” _ _

Gwen Phasma.

Rose shuts her eyes briefly, a wave of nostalgia and sorrowful longing washing over her, before she reopens them to see the silver haired girl, glaring at her with a burning hatred. 

A long time ago, Phasma and Rose had been friends. Best friends, to be more explicit. Their friend group of five—Rose, Phasma, Dopheld Mitaka, Snap Wexley, and Finn—had been Rose’s second family throughout elementary school and early middle school years.

Suddenly, in seventh grade, Phasma grew distant from Rose, and instead found a new posse of friends—the group that was groomed to become the currently most popular clique in high school. Over time, Finn and Phasma began dating, Dopheld moved away, and Snap got assigned to a different high school—leaving Rose all alone. 

“My sister’s not a freak,” Rey hisses. 

“Ah, the youngest Tico. I haven’t seen you in a while,” Phasma says, glancing down at Rey. “Well, you’re not even a real Tico. So maybe I need a new name for you.”

Rose’s eyes widen in indignation. Before she can speak, however, Rey steps in front of her. “I am a Tico,” she says firmly. Rey gazes up at Phasma with a hardened glare. “I may be adopted, but I am a Tico.”

Eyes glimmering with pride, Rose claps her hand on Rey’s shoulder, whispering, “There’s no need to engage with her, let’s go—”

“You know what they say about adopted kids,” Phasma interrupts, tossing her hair behind her shoulder, “they’re kids their parents didn’t want. And their parents didn’t want them for a reason, you know? Have you ever thought about that?”

A beat of silence stretches between them as Phasma’s words sink in. Rey inhales sharply, her facade of anger crumbling beneath the weight of Phasma’s verbal attack—and Rey’s own insecurities. 

Rose’s jaw clenches. “Shut up,” she finally speaks up. 

“Ah, so the freak does talk after all!” Phasma sneers. “I won’t shut up about the truth.”

“That was a low blow. Uncalled for. And not true at all.” Rose is practically growling at this point. She steps forward, face mere inches away from her nemesis’s as she cranes her neck upwards in what Rose hopes is in a menacing manner. “You should apologize to her. Right. Now.” 

“What… what’s going on here?” A concerned voice interrupts the confrontation. Rose backs down, turning to see a tall silhouette running down the hallway. “Gwen?”

“Nothing,” Phasma replies sweetly, “just making an observation on the Tico family dynamic. The youngest Tico is a freshman now.”

“Oh?” Finn glances to his left. Then, his lips crack into a large smile. “Rey? I haven’t seen you in ages! You’ve sure grown up.” His face becomes dotted with worry as he notices her quivering lip. “Are… are you okay?”

“Your  _ girlfriend _ just called her useless and said her parents didn’t want her, of course she’s not ‘okay’,” Rose seethes. “Rey, we’re leaving.”

With a quiet sniffle, Rey nods, but not before throwing a subtle middle finger gesture at Phasma, who, of course, notices. The two sisters turn and walk away, but a shout follows them.

“Tico—I mean—Rose—wait!” Finn shouts. “I’m sorry for whatever Gwen said. She hadn’t had her coffee today yet—I promise she’s not usually this bad.”

Rose laughs hollowly. “That’s not an excuse, Finn,” she says quietly. It doesn’t matter that Finn is the school’s star quarterback, or that she has no standing in this school. “You can’t keep making excuses for her shitty behavior. She—she  _ hurt _ my sister, so excuse me if I can’t forgive that.” 

This time, Finn doesn’t follow them. Rose doesn’t turn her head to check either, though her heart does feel lighter that he at least attempted an apology on her behalf.

“Rey, I am so,  _ so _ sorry that you had to experience that,” Rose whispers. “It’s all my fault, she hates me so it’s pretty normal. I am so sorry you got pulled into it—”

“It’s  _ fine _ .” 

“No, it’s not fine—”

“Why didn’t you speak up at the beginning?” Rey asks sharply. 

“What?”

“When she called you a freak,” Rey explains, “why didn’t you speak up?”

Rose sighs. “You don’t understand, Phasma’s been doing that for years. Speaking up just encourages her more, so I ignore her taunts—”

“You need to defend yourself.” Rey’s hands tighten into clenched fists. “Rose, you’re a strong person. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have friends. You don’t deserve to be bullied at school—”

“I have friends,” Rose says weakly, knowing how feeble the words sounded to her own ears. “Fine. You’re right. I’ll… try. But you need to tell me if anyone bullies you too, okay? Don’t do that thing where you shut yourself in—”

“Ok.” Rey raises her fist, lifting her pinkie. “Tico promise?”

Rose links their pinkies together. “Tico promise.”

~ * ~

“Got your seatbelt on?” 

“Yes. Wait.” Rey twists her body, carefully retrieving her helmet from the back seat and fastens it on her head. “Now I’m ready.”

Rose rolls her eyes, pulling the car lever into Reverse. “I swear, I am not that bad at dri—”

“HEY!” A shout sounds from behind the car.

Rose stomps on the car brakes with a horrified gasp. She and Rey both lurch forward.

“Good thing I was wearing my helmet,” Rey teases, though still catching her breath. 

Light taps sound on the driver's window. “You know, when people back up, they check that there’s no one  _ behind  _ the car?” Finn asks.

“I—er—yeah, I know,” Rose stammers. She slowly rolls the window down, wishing the car would consume her whole. 

“Oh,” Finn breathes out. “It’s you.” 

“I’m so sorry—I completely forgot to—”

He shakes his head. “It’s all good, I’m fine. I’m not dead.” Finn frowns at his word choice. “I mean, of course I’m not dead, I’m still standing here—never mind.” He takes a deep breath. “I was looking for you today, actually.”

Rose furrowed her brows. “Why?” 

“I—uh—” He brings his hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it nervously. “I wanted to apologize. And explain.”

“There’s nothing for you to explain,” Rose says coldly. “If you would excuse us, my sister and I would like to go home.”

“It’ll just be a second,” Finn pleads. Seeing Rose’s wordless response, he decides to continue. “After you left, I made Gwen tell me what she said to you two. She told me, and I was… horrified.”

Rey glances at him curiously. 

“I told her she had crossed a line,” Finn continues. Rose raises an eyebrow; maybe he does have moral standards after all. “And then she dumped me.”

Rey peers at him even closer, her eyes glinting.

“Oh my god,” Rose gasps.

“Yeah… Gwen told me she found someone over the summer who was better than me—”

“So she cheated on you,” Rey concludes.

“Uh…” Finn opens and closes his mouth like a sputtering fish. “She didn’t say that—”

“Then she did,” Rose interrupts. Then, her face softens. “Finn, I’m so sorry. I feel like your breakup is my fault. Thank you for defending us to her, you didn’t need to do that.” 

“No, I did need to,” Finn insists. “You were right, what she said was absolutely shitty. Rey, I personally apologize to you on her behalf.”

“Thank you,” Rey says calmly. “I’m fine, I really am.” She gives him a wide smile and waves to Finn before he departs. Internally, her mind is flitting in another dimension, churning rapidly with new ideas, before she realizes the car isn’t moving. “Rose, what are waiting for?” 

“For every car to leave the parking lot, so no one sees my driving.”

~ * ~

Within a couple weeks, junior year morphs into a steady routine for Rose: wake up, drive to school ( _ gotta slow down at the speed bumps! Don’t drive too close to the curbs, especially near the Parkinsons because I’ve already knocked over their trash can three times! _ ), attend classes, eat lunch ( _ alone _ , in the corner of the football field’s bleachers), attend more classes, drive back home, do homework, and sleep.

“You sure you don’t want to do any extracurriculars this semester?” Her father asks, forehead wrinkled with worry. “I thought you really liked App Development Club last year. And Yearbook Club! You love—”

“I have a lot of homework, Dad,” Rose says, eyes downcast. 

“Rey just joined the Robotics Club, you could drop by—”

“No.” 

Her father sighs. “You sure you’re okay, Rose?” He glances down at her, his sympathetic, brown eyes darkening with concern. “This—this isn’t like you.”

“I’m fine, Daddy,” she insists. “I’m just… busy. I’ve been busy.”

Rose feels bad for not satisfying her father’s request, but she has no better explanation. The truth is, she has felt listless since Paige left, all motivation and energy zapped from her body. She’s had Paige by her side since the day she was born, and not having her there makes her feel as if a part of her is… missing. 

Apparently, she isn’t the only one who feels this way. 

“I feel like… there’s a hole in my heart. Like it’s ripping me apart.” Poe, a true theatre fanatic, injects just as much flair and drama into everyday conversation as he does into his performances. In this moment, however, listening to him and watching him talk is heartbreaking for Rose. “I thought she was it, you know.” He turns to Rose, sitting next to him at her usual lunch spot in the bleachers. “Did you know she was going to do it? You two are sisters, she must tell you everything—I wish you warned me—”

“She didn’t tell me, Poe,” Rose says earnestly. “I had no idea she would break up with you.”

Poe sighs, a shuddery breath escaping his parted lips. 

“I don’t seem to have any energy to do anything. Without her, I have no friends here. She and her friends  _ were _ my friends,” Rose admits. 

“I miss her.”

“Me too.”

They don’t hear the gasp of concern that escaped the lips of a young girl eavesdropping below them, nor do they hear her soft footsteps as she scurries away, a plan stubbornly etched in her mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support, I was blown away with the response to the first chapter! I didn't expect so many people to read a Finnrose fic -- all of your support really means a lot to me. 
> 
> I think this is the quickest I've ever updated a fic -- let me know what you think of this chapter!
> 
> * * *
> 
> Come say hi to me on Tumblr ([@reylocalligraphy](https://reylocalligraphy.tumblr.com)) and Twitter ([@reylocallig](https://twitter.com/reylocallig)). Thank you so much for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three love letters have been sent out. Rose deals with the consequences...

“Summer break is a _ joke _,” Mr. Tarkin spits out. Infamous around the school, Tarkin is an extremely strict—borderline cruel—yet effective P. E. [physical education] coach. “All of you kids come back to school, arms weak and your legs flapping about with fat. Completely out of shape!” He tilts his chin high, eyes narrowed at the group of students. “All of you!” 

Rose stops herself from rolling her eyes at the coach’s dramatics. It’s not like she is usually in any better shape during the school year than during the summer; historically, she’s always been the slowest runner in her P. E. class, and Rose has no plans to change that this year. 

Plus, being last has its benefits. It helps obscure you in the shadows. 

After all, no one pays attention to the last placed runner. 

“So, all of you kids,” Mr. Tarkin continues, “listen up carefully. I am only going to say this once, and I won’t repeat myself. You hear me?”

A chorus of hasty “Yes, sir”’s fill the air.

“I’m sorry, what was that? I could have sworn a fly just barely buzzed past my ear.”

“YES, SIR!”

“Better. Marginally,” Mr. Tarkin tuts. “For warm-up, I want everyone to run ten laps around the track—” 

Rose widens her eyes. _ Ten?! _She begins to wrack her mind for potential injuries she could self-inflict on the second lap.

“—then, after you finish running, you stop and go to the center of the field. In a single file line—SINGLE FILE, I said, not a crowd you hooligans always like to form—you will practice drills for penalty kicks with me.” Mr. Tarkin walks around the group of students, who all stand like frozen popsicle sticks, backs straight and necks paralyzed. “Do you understand ME?”

“Yes, SIR!”

Rose winces when a shrill whistle blasts in her ear. She feels the students brush past her, leaving her in a wake of dirt and dust. 

“What are you waiting for, Tico?”

She immediately starts to jog. Her feet pound against the rough, vermillion concrete. Two hundred meters in, Rose feels her heart throbbing inside her chest, like a vicious predator roaring inside her ribcage, begging to escape. 

After what feels like an eternity later, Rose finally completes the first lap. Thick beads of sweat roll down her skin, tracing along her jawline and dripping onto her t-shirt. She grimaces; she’s barely made any headway, and her skin already feels like a roasting furnace.

“Hey!” She slows down upon hearing Finn’s voice, wondering how much trouble she will get into with Tarkin for getting lapped after the _ first lap _. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Rose comes to a complete stop. “Me? Are you talking to me?”

“Yeah, you, Rose.” He glances around, then parts his lips. In a low, quiet voice, he says, “Look, I just wanted to say I really appreciate it, but it’s never going to happen.”

She furrows her brows and crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m sorry, what?” 

“From what I remember from middle school, I guess it was a hot kiss, you know, for seventh grade, and I’m… I guess I’m really flattered that you see me as a hero—”

“A… what?” 

“—and I didn’t even know that my eyes had golden specks, honestly—” 

“What are you talking about?”

“—it’s just that I just got out of a long-term relationship, Phasma and I are in a weird place right now, and I know in your letter you said—”

“What letter?” Rose’s eyes bug out. “I never wrote you a letter?” 

_ Wait… I did. I did write him a letter. But that was a million years ago.That can’t be it though. _

“Yes you did. It was addressed to me, from you.”

It **_can’t_** be.

Rose shakes her head, almost as if it would physically dissolve her worst nightmare. “How… how did you get the letter?”

“It came in the mail yesterday.” 

“To your house?”

“Yeah.” Finn brings his hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it sheepishly. “Listen, it’s no big deal, I just wanted to let you know—”

“Oh my god.” 

No, no, no. 

This can’t be happening. 

Someone must have sent out her letter to him. 

She feels faint. Not the too-tired-from-running faint, but actually faint. 

Is it just her, or is the world beginning to slightly spin? 

At least only one letter has been sent out, although it does little to comfort her heart. 

The edges of her vision start to blur. 

Then, they fade completely.

The last thing she sees before she blacks out are the golden specks swirling in Finn’s dark brown eyes, glimmering with concern. 

~ * ~

“Rose?” She feels a slight poke at her arm, then a nudge at her stomach. “Rose? Are you okay?” Another nudge, this time at her cheek. “Rose, wake up!”

She snaps her eyes open. “What… what happened?”

“You… uh…. You fainted.”

“Oh.” Rose shuts her eyes again as the memories flood back in. “Right.” 

“You need some help getting up?” Finn crouches down, arm outstretched. “Here. Hold on, I’ll pull you up. You need some water or anything?”

“No, I’m okay,” Rose says. Her hand cradles the back of her head, where a soft bump has began to form. “Really. I’m fine.”

“You sure?” he asks, clearly concerned.

Rose reopens her eyes and looks up, lips parted and ready to reiterate that she is fine, when she glimpses the outline of a familiar figure in the distance.

Poe Dameron. Strolling towards the running track, waving to her. And in his other hand, clutching a goddamn envelope that freezes her heartbeat. 

So much for praying that only one envelope was mailed out. 

“Oh my god.” Rose thinks of all the times she witnessed Paige and Poe kissing. “Oh my god.” All those times they sneaked around the house with hushed giggles, wearing large, stupid grins. “Oh my god.” All their intimate moments, featuring a language the couple seemed to speak without speaking aloud. 

She doesn’t have time to think. What Rose knows for sure is that she cannot let Poe think that she has feelings for him. And she most definitely cannot betray her sister in any possible way. 

So she doesn’t think. 

Rose grabs Finn’s shoulders, pulling him towards her with all her might. 

“Oh—wha—” 

She leans over his body, legs straddling his torso, and smashes her lips onto his. 

“Mmm—mmf!”

“HEY!” The coach sprints towards them, his mouth twisted with fury. Finn and Rose immediately break apart, breathing heavily. “Stop that! That’s five more laps for you, Tico—you dare slack off in my class!”

Rose whips her head up to glance at Poe; he’s halted his footsteps, rooted in his place with a stunned expression. 

“Sorry coach,” Rose breathes out, climbing up from the ground. “I… I don’t feel well. I’m going to—uh—go to the doctor’s office!” 

And she dashes—with a speed she’s never demonstrated in a past P. E. class—in the opposite direction. Away from Finn, away from Poe.

“Rose!” Finn calls after her. “Tico, wait!”

She doesn’t wait. 

“It’s a shame that this girl never tries in my class,” Mr. Tarkin tells Finn, who is still laying on the ground, dazed. “If she ran like that every class, she could easily be winning medals.”

Rose continues to run like she’s escaping a life-or-death trap. It isn’t until the soles of her feet kiss the cold, tiled bathroom floor of a building at the other end of the campus, does she finally stop. 

She shuts herself in a stall and takes deep breaths. 

_ That absolutely did not just happen. Nothing happened. _

_ Nothing happened. _

_ Nothing... happened... _

Rose slams her head into the wall and groans. How is she supposed to proceed with the rest of her classes—_ the rest of her life _—with this chaotic, humiliating mess hanging over her head? 

~ * ~

The end-of-class bell chimes jubilantly. Instantly, students rise from their desk, jostling each other through the doorway as they race to the cafeteria. 

“Rose?” Hearing her name, she turns around to the sight of Armitage Hux. “Can I speak to you?”

“Yeah, of course. What’s up?”

He holds up the letter—the dreadful, dratted envelope that has flipped Rose’s life upside down. “Can I speak to you, _ alone _?”

Rose takes one look at the envelope and nods. They quickly scurry to a neighboring empty classroom and lock the door.

“I got this letter in the mail a couple days ago,” Hux starts, “and it seemed private. So I thought you might want it back.” 

He hands her the envelope. Rose looks at him with wide eyes, then flips over the envelope. The address, the stamps, and the squiggly cursive mess she once thought was “cute” stared back at her. 

“I… I’m really honored you think my hair looks like a painting of the horizon at the crack of dawn. But…” He sighs, brushing back his hair with his fingers. “I’m gay.”

Rose’s eyes widen. “Oh. Oh wow.”

“Yeah…” Hux stares at his shoes as if they are the most fascinating treasure in the universe. “So that’s why I’m not interested in you, even though you’re a really awesome girl. I’m sorry, Rose.”

“That’s—that’s absolutely fine!” Rose blurts out. “I swear. I… I actually—”

“I’m glad you’re okay with it,” he breathes out in relief. “Sorry. I… I didn’t know what to do—and I haven’t told everyone I’m gay yet. I’m not ashamed of it, my friends know, but there are some people—especially my dad—” His eyes darken with worry at the thought. “Oh god, my dad—”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone, Hux,” she says earnestly. “I’m sorry for putting you in this position. I had no idea.”

“Don’t apologize,” he waves off. “I really appreciate it.”

Rose smiles awkwardly, eyes darting towards the door. “I—uh—thanks again for giving me back the letter,” she says, waving the envelope in the air. “I guess I’ll just go to lunch now.”

“I’m headed to lunch too!” Hux exclaims. “How come I never see you in the cafeteria?” 

“Oh, uh—” Rose is a historically bad liar. “I—erm, I don’t get hungry, so uh—”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” 

“Fine,” Rose sighs. “I eat alone. In the football bleachers.”

Hux blinks. He parts his lips, about to speak, and Rose knows that he’s about to tell her what a freak she is for eating by herself everyday— 

“Why don’t you join my friends and I sometimes?” he asks. “We’d love to eat with you.”

“Join… you?” No one has ever invited Rose to eat lunch with them in her entire high school career. This has to be a joke, right?

“Yeah! You’re cool, my friends are cool, it’ll be great.”

She is? “Oh.” It can’t be that bad, right? There’s no way it can be worse than eating alone. But what if his friends find her weird and creepy? 

A voice that sounds suspiciously like Paige echoes in the back of her mind to accept his offer. So she does. “I’d love to. Thank you so much.”

“Great!” Hux gives her a tight-lipped smile, one that Rose knows is rare to grace his face. “I’ll hold you up to it. Hope to see you around, Rose.”

Rose returns his smile with one of her own. “See you, Hux.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please subscribe and leave a comment! Come say hi or ask me questions:  
\- Tumblr [@reylocalligraphy](https://reylocalligraphy.tumblr.com)  
\- Twitter [@reylocallig](https://twitter.com/reylocallig)  
\- Curious Cat [@reylocallig](https://curiouscat.me/reylocallig)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Rose talk. Let the fake dating commence!

“DADDY!” Rose throws the door open with a blood-curdling shriek. “DADDY, HAVE YOU SEEN MY HATBOX?”

“It’s great to see you too, Rose,” her father says calmly. “Work was great today, thank you for asking. How was school?”

“School was great!” Rey chimes in, treading behind Rose. “Math was so much fun today, we did—”

“This is urgent, Dad, have you seen my hatbox?” Rose interrupts hurriedly. “The teal one, has a big bow on top?”

“No, I haven’t seen it. Did you look in your room?” 

Rose drops her backpack to the ground and sprints up the staircase. She dives underneath her bed, banging the back of her head on her bedframe, but she doesn’t care. She  _ needs to find the hatbox. _

“It’s not here!” she wails. 

“Your room is so messy, you might find it if you keep looking,” he says with furrowed brows. “You sure you didn’t put it in the stack of donations that Paige set up?” 

Rose feels the blood drain from her face. “ _ Donations _ ?” she repeats slowly. “What donations?”

“Paige gave me a pile of things to donate the day she left. I dropped them off at Goodwill a few days ago.”

“Oh my god.” Rose shuts her eyes and presses her lips together. It really would not surprise her if her older sister had went into her room and taken away anything that seemed unnecessary. Paige had frequently complained “Your room is too messy.” “This stash of junk is unacceptable.” “You live in a pig sty.”

Is it possible to metaphorically kill someone from 3,128 miles away?

“It’s just a box, right?” Her father walks into her room to see the sight of Rose flopped on her bed, head draped over the side of the bed. “No need to be so dramatic.”

“It’s not  _ just _ a box.” It contained some of her most secret possessions. But that wasn’t the only reason it was so sentimental. “Mom gave it to me. It was really special.”

“Oh, Rosie, I’m sorry,” her father says, wrapping her in a warm embrace. “If I see it, I’ll let you know.”

She exhales, eyes downcast. “It’s fine.” 

After all, the damage has already been done. 

~ * ~

Tico Axiom #3: There is one instant, magical remedy to cheering a Tico up— _ boba _ . 

Rose hops onto her pink scooter and travels to Boba Fett Bar. It’s a cozy shop, hidden on a street of boutiques and vintage shops. Strings of tiny, twinkling lights drape across the ceiling, illuminating the glossy white tabletops and pastel-colored chairs.

“Rough day?” The owner, Maz Kanata, casts her soft, protuberant eyes at her. Rose has always liked Maz; the elder woman was always kind to her. Although, sometimes it was unnerving how much Maz could conclude correctly about Rose’s day from a single glance. 

“Yeah,” Rose sighs, sliding a few dollar bills across the counter. “Could I have the usual?”

“Of course,” Maz smiles. “I’ll whip it up right now.”

“And no ice please,” Rose adds. “Thank you.”

Rose slumps into a high chair at the counter and pulls out her phone. A whirlwind of taps on Instagram later, she turns it off. Scrolling past photo after photo of her classmates’ exciting social lives just reminds her of how dire her own social life is.

Right now, her social life is a cross between  _ nonexistent  _ and  _ I kissed a random guy to make my sister’s ex-boyfriend think I’m not in love with him _ . 

Yeah, really exciting.

“One peach passion tea with honey boba for our special Rose!” Maz calls out, placing the drink and a straw in front of her.

Rose looks up with delight. She gently swirls her cup, watching the liquid slosh against the walls, and pops the straw in, lightly sipping the tea. The light, tangy sweetness instantly begins to ease her headache.

“What are you drinking?” A deep voice cuts into her blissfulness. Rose turns around reluctantly, eyes widening as she meets the incredulous gaze of Finn Storm. 

She feels her headache returning again.

“I stopped by your house to find you, but you weren't there. Your sister told me you might be here though,” he explains. 

“What did you want to talk to me about?”

His incredulous stare is back, though it's for a different reason this time. “Isn't it obvious?”

Rose ducks her head down, eyes intently focused on her drink, as a delicate flush spreads across her face. She fidgets with her straw. “I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Look, you keep saying one thing, but your lips clearly said another.” 

Her cheeks flush an even darker shade of red. Why couldn't Finn just go away and pretend nothing ever happened? “I… It's hard to explain. I don't know if I can, honestly. Doing talking isn't exactly my forte.” As her words sink in, she cringes. “Doing… talking… Yeah. You see what I mean?”

He bites down on his lower lip, clearly holding back an amused smile. “This isn't an interrogation, Rose,” Finn says with a soft gleam in his eyes. “I guess… I'm just confused. What you did today was confusing.” His eyes grow wide when he realizes how his words sound. “Not—not the kiss! Of course. That was very straightforward, uh—but your intention behind it. Yeah, that was confusing.” 

“Right.” She clears her throat, embarrassed. “I'm really sorry, by the way. That was very uncalled for, and I probably made you very uncomfortable. I'm sorry, I just… wasn't thinking in that moment.”

“I'll forgive you if you tell me why you did it.”

Wow, this boy is a lot more stubborn than Rose gave him credit for. “You know the love letter you received? I wrote that in seventh grade, when I was stupid and foolish, and I promise I don't have those feelings anymore.” She takes a deep breath. “It was never meant to be sent out. Another one of the letters—”

“Wait, you wrote more than one?” Finn interrupts. “How many love letters did you write?”

“...Three…”

He clasps his hand over his heart. “You wound me, Tico. And here I thought I was special.”

“Trust me, you're not,” she says with a teasing grin, patting his shoulder in mock sympathy. 

“Who were the other two letters to?”

“Armitage Hux, and Poe Dameron.”

He raises one eyebrow at the first name. Both brows fly to his hairline at the second. “Wait, didn't Poe date your sister?”

“Yeah, they used to.”

Finn lets out a low whistle. “And you sent him a love letter? That's messed up.”

“It wasn't supposed to be sent!” she cries. “I wrote that years ago, and sealed any non-platonic feelings I had for him in that letter. I swear. But he received the letter and was looking for me, so that's why I—uh—kissed you. To make him think I'm no longer interested in him.”

“So… let me get this straight.” His face is expressionless, and Rose continues to fidget with her straw. “You kissed a guy—a guy you no longer have feelings for—to make another guy—your sister's ex—think you also no longer have feelings for him. Feelings you expressed in very old love letters.”

She bobs her head vigorously, the curled ends of her short hair bouncing with her nods. “Yes, exactly,” she says, relieved. Rose had been worried Finn wouldn't understand the complexity of the situation, but he seemed to get it perfectly.

To her surprise, he bursts out into laughter. “Damn, Tico, who knew you'd be such a player!” 

“I'm not a _player_,” she scowls. “This… is just… a messy situation.”

“Oh, it's more than 'messy' alright.” His shoulders continue to shake with peals of laughter.

Her scowl only grows wider. She twists her chair away from him, facing the counter and her drink instead. “So there's my explanation, laugh away all you want,” Rose sighs. She picks up the drink, sipping the tea delicately, savoring the sweetness of the tapioca pearls in her mouth.

The final traces of his laughter vanish into the incredulous stare she was getting accustomed to receiving from him. “What are the black things in your drink?”

Her eyes widen. “Have you never had boba?”

“...boba?”

“Oh my god.” All her troubles zip out of her mind, replaced by the much more imminent issue at hand. “You've really never had boba before? Well, let me educate you. It will change. Your. Life.”

She shoves her cup into his hands, pointing the straw towards him. “This is a type of fruit tea—there are a lot of flavors you can choose from. The black things— boba—are the tapioca pearls. It’s also called bubble tea, or boba tea, there are a million names. The pearls are super soft and chewy—”

“You chew on things while you drink it?”

"Yes, they're really good. Just make sure you don't accidentally swallow them. Please, try it!”

He looks at the drink in his hand with skepticism. “I don't know, Rose…”

“Just one sip. I promise, you won’t regret it.”

With a sigh, Finn bows his head, puckering his lips over the straw, and sips. 

His eyes blow open wide. Then, he remembers the pearls in his mouth, and he chews them, hesitantly, before finally swallowing.

“This is really good!” Finn exclaims in surprise. “It's sweet, in a refreshing way, but not  _ too _ sweet.” He takes another sip, his tongue darting out to lick any remnant tea on his upper lip, before he sets the drink down. “The feeling of the pearls was weird at first, but they're really soft and chewy. I like them a lot.” 

Finn reaches out for her cup again, but Rose smacks his hand away. “Get your own drink, you thief,” she teases, before she offers her drink to him with an outstretched hand. A large smile breaks out on her face. “I knew you'd like it.”

He nods, mouth full of another sip. He doesn’t bother to refute her prideful statement—the unsaid “I told you so” blatant in her tone—because he knows she’s right. “So what are you gonna tell Poe?”

“About what?”

“About… all of this.”

“Nothing, I’ll just… keep avoiding him.”

“You can’t be serious.” Rose averts his gaze. “Oh my god, you were. Isn’t he your neighbor? We also go to the same school...”

“I can’t tell Poe the truth,” she blurts out. “That’d be like betraying my sister. And I definitely can’t do that.”

Finn chews on her words. He drinks from her tea again—Rose thinks he has drank more than her at this rate—before his lips part in thought. “What if… he doesn’t need to know? What if we make him think something else?”

Rose furrows her brows. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he probably already thinks you and I are dating, right? You—you attacked me with your lips in front of him—there’s no way he missed it.” Her face flushes again at the reminder. “What if… what if we keep making him think that?”

“That we’re in a relationship?

It is his turn to flush. “Yeah. So he would never question that you might still have feelings for him, like your love letter professed.” He gazes down at his hands, and his voice drops to a low, deflated whisper. “It’s a stupid idea, I know, just laugh it out.” 

“It’s not a stupid idea.” It’s certainly the most foolish idea she’s ever heard. But her big mouth beats her brain to it. “It… makes sense.”

“It does?”

“Yeah. He would know for sure that the letter was… a mistake. And it was. But he'll know for sure I don't have romantic feelings for him, and we can let that all slide.” The more Rose thinks about it, the more committed to the idea she gets. “And you can even use this to make Phasma jealous. So that you get something out of this too.”

His eyebrows raise, almost imperceptibly, but she knows he's thinking about it more seriously. “You're right. We could do this. We could really do this. And it would be… a win-win for the both of us until it ends.”

This is so far past insane, it's definitely too late for Rose to turn back now. “So… how does a relationship work? What are the guidelines?”

“... Guidelines?”

“Yeah, you know, rules? Of how the relationship works?”

He blinks at her. “I don't think you understand how a relationship works.”

“I know, that's why I'm asking you.”

“No, that's not what I—” Finn sighs. “Relationships don't have any rules or guidelines or conditions. They're supposed to happen naturally.”

“Oh.” Rose thinks about his words and frowns. “But this isn't a normal relationship. Or a natural one. So I want to set some ground rules.”

“... like what?”

Rose digs into her backpack and fishes out a notebook, turning to an empty page. “Rule number one, no kissing.” She underlines the rule multiple times on the page. 

“That won't be a problem for me, you're the one who seems to initiate them.”

Rose slaps him on the arm with her notebook, ignoring his yelp. “Rule number two, you're going to let me introduce you to more boba flavors.”

“Oo, I can get behind this one,” Finn says. He grabs her notebook and pen, and begins to write. “Rule number three. Phas always wanted me to write her cheesy notes to her everyday, and I never did, so if I do it for you maybe she'll notice.”

“Oh—uh—okay—” Rose scrambles to think of a reciprocal rule. “I can send you a good night text every night then.”

He glances at her with a look she can't decipher. “Sure.” His lips twist in thought, when his eyes light up. “Oh. I know. Last rule, you’re coming with me to the ski trip.”

_ The ski trip.  _

Her heart sinks.

Aka, the trip infamous for being the location where more students lost their virginity than Senior Week  _ and _ Prom combined. 

Rose has never been, obviously.

“I don't know…”

“You have to come to the ski trip if you're my girlfriend. All couples go together. Otherwise, Phas will definitely know what's up.” He glances at her with a pleading look. 

She doesn't want to go. There's too much drama surrounding it every year, all drama that she wants to avoid. The trip is in three months though, and the only reason she agrees to it is because she knows this relationship would have long ended before then. “Fine,” she concedes with a sigh, “but if I go, you have to—uh—drive my sister and I to school every morning!” 

There's no way he's willing to do that. 

“Deal, definitely a deal,” Finn says with a grin. “That's an easy yes.” Her jaw falls open slightly. “Your house in on my way to school anyway. It wouldn't be a burden at all.”

“Oh.” 

Her single word response is met with a slight smirk.

Rose reaches back for her notebook and closes it. “Then I guess it's official.” She stretches out her hand, and Finn shakes it. The headache seems to be creeping back into her mind. “Let the fake dating begin.”

He nods and grins. Before Rose can even react, Finn reaches behind her to steal her boba drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please subscribe and leave a comment! Come say hi or ask me questions:  
\- Tumblr [@reylocalligraphy](https://reylocalligraphy.tumblr.com)  
\- Twitter [@reylocallig](https://twitter.com/reylocallig)  
\- Curious Cat [@reylocallig](https://curiouscat.me/reylocallig)


End file.
